I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
