After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
