no, he came in my armpit
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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