At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
