I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
