I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
