I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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