your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
