Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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