Umm I'm too high to move.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
