A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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