Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
