I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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