Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
