I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize