It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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