Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
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