Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
