he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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