I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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