so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
