My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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