For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
whose parrot is this?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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