fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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