Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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