Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
