At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
why do cheetos always look like penises
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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