Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
