Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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