i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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