Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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