Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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