Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
