Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
