you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
