They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
