that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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