I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I need moral support for this bender
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
