So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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