it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
