all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
That accounts for only three of the penises
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
