Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
