No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
