...so i touched it.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Alive.
So much puke
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
