You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
