I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
