Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
