We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I think your dad took our porno
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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