just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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