you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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