Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
