Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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