I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize