drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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