and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
