Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
