god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
