your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
