Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
