I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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