My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
