theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
