I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
