All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
