my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The struggles of a small town man whore
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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