I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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