Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
