singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
