Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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