Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
